The Grandmother Club

What does it mean to be a Grandmother?

The actual, physical act of becoming a Grandmother was easy enough.  I did not have to do anything, really, other than support my daughter as she went through the labour.  The emotional act of becoming a Grandmother is another story.

I have many emotions, several of which conflict with each other.  During the labour and the birth, I was at once proud of my daughter and her husband, and fearful for her.  I had gone through the same type of hard, long, drawn-out labour that she’d gone through.  For some reason, I was never fearful for myself.  I was afraid for my daughter, for the exhaustion she was obviously experiencing.  I was surprised that I was more concerned for the welfare of my daughter than I was for the new baby!

Now, I have embarked on a new journey.  One which started, I suppose, when I first gave birth to my oldest daughter, who now has a child of her own.  What does it mean to be a Grandmother?  How does one go about acting like a Grandmother?  What does a Grandmother look like?  What name should I go by?

Many questions surface, with many emotions.  I want to explore these emotions as they occur.  Because, I really don’t think I am the only one who thinks this way, who feels these same things, and who have what I call identity issues.  You, reader, are invited to participate in this exploration, to help sort out the new role called Grandmother.

Welcome, to the Grandmother Club!

 

Snowy Morning at the Coffee Shop

Just another chilly day. I like how the shadows play on the fence.

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The Days the Earth Stood Still 2020,04,25

I guess people are starting to balk against the quarantine. There are so many inconsistencies … prisoners let loose to prevent them getting the virus, yet people out and about are arrested and put in jail for not having a mask (even though they are more than 6 feet away from anyone else). Abortion clinic, box stores and government daily briefings are conducting business as usual for the most part, yet the camping areas are closed off, fishing is forbidden with people pulled off the water when they are the only ones around.

It was my turn. It happened a while back. My turn to work with a patient who we later test for Covid19. So I had to check my temperature every 12 hours. I still went to work, but I felt I must almost wear my mask in my own home. I was bleaching everything I touch, and not doing my organizing stuff like I wanted to. To protect my family. I was wearing my hospital issued yellow thin mask, when I would greatly prefer to wear my thick homemade mask that Lizzie made for me. Whatever.

I am on call tonight. We had three nurses and one aide on night shift scheduled, and with so few patients around, two of us are on call each night. That means that I will probably be on call every other night during my set. The twist, is that day shift was short a nurse. So, I was going to be on call for this night shift, work the day shift, and be on call for the next night. Maybe. I guess there is an emergency Covid19 funds that allow me to be paid in full when I am on call. It is activated because I agreed to be in a float pool so they could send me where ever they needed me. Yay for my side! I don’t actually have to work day shift. They got another nurse to work that. Good thing, too, because I really don’t like working day shift. Too much chaos, what with the Doctors, and Orders, and Families — Oh, My! But I am willing to do what it takes to make sure the patients are well cared for, and my fellow caregivers are not burned out.

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The Days the Earth Stood Still, 2020,04,22

You have to be prepared for the unexpected. When I started stocking up, it was right after the Y2K thing. That was the thing at the turn of THIS century, where the computers were going to all break down because everyone was using just the last two digits of the year … ’98, ’99. But the fear (really it was an unknown fear) was that the computers would think it was going to be 1900 again, and it would screw the whole world up.

People were stocking up on survival things, food, toilet paper, guns and ammo, garden seeds. Flashlights and batteries. Candles and lanterns and Aladdin lamps. After it was done, I was able to purchase some food items others had stocked up on and wanted to get rid of.

Nobody really knew what to expect with the computer thing. I have seen my town essentially shut down when there was a power surge which took down the internet. Made me realize just how dependent we are on internet. Businesses couldn’t generate a bill so they couldn’t take money. You couldn’t get money out of the bank. What if this lasts more than a couple of hours?

We know hard times are just around the corner. It behooves us to all prepare, at least a month ahead. Better to be three months ahead. Purchasing a little extra each time you go to the grocery store is not that much financial hardship, and is certainly not hoarding. Hoarding is when you panic and purchase up all the toilet paper so nobody else can partake. This time around, while everyone else was running around in a panic, I was at work. Yes, I admit to feeling a little bit of that panic too. Then, when my husband found he needed to have more Vitamin K in his diet, but it was impossible to find frozen veggies, and I didn’t trust the fresh varieties. I went to Gramma Nettie’s Store and pulled out a can of Freeze Dried broccoli. THIS is why I store foods. It was really nice to be able to have that stuff where I could easily (-ish) get to it.

I had to order a couple more can rotation racks. Some for my pantry cans, and some for my regular cans. Those soda can dispensers? They work for regular size cans, and sometimes some of the smaller cans. Anything the size of Progresso soup cans will stick at the very back. For those and my Pantry cans, I use Cansolidator Pantry size. I don’t have anything that works on my #10 gallon size cans. More’s the pity.

Our State Governor has extended the stay home order for another couple of weeks. Part of me says Yay, that helps keep healthcare workers healthy. The other part of me worries about the economy. Another part of me worries about conspiracy. I don’t hear so much about Trump impeachment anymore. One county has declared it will open sometime soon. Governor says “Huh-uh! You are illegal! You must do what I say, because I am the King!” (that is a loose — very loose — translation of his verbose rhetoric).

My kids are carrying on with life. #1 child is still somewhere out there. #2 and her family are busy building on their property, with their oldest, Red Boy helping. #3 child is busy working his 9-5 position. #4 child has started a new job, still on orientation. #5 child is seriously staying inside with her infant and toddler. Sewing masks like crazy! She inserts polypropylene (surgical mask material) in the middle so they approximate the medical masks quite well. Very pretty colours.

It was too windy to fly my drone. Too wet and miserable for BadBird to go metal detecting. And I still want to cast my fishing magnet into the water. The last time I did that, Marley the Wonder Dog jumped right out the window to run after it. Crazy dog!

The Grandkids. They will be adults when they come to appreciate what is going on right now. And we have intentionally done things to create memories for them. We take pizza every time we see them, so I am affectionately known as Pizza Gramma. We do things like playing banjo, ukulele, dulcimer, recorder. We teach them metal detecting, drone flying, flower collecting. Try to teach them things they will use in their adult life and say “I remember my grandmother did this with me as a kid!”

Stay safe. Wear your mask. Wash your hands. It is a jungle out there, and the monkeys are in charge and the asses are loose.

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The Days the Earth Stood Still 2020,04,21

Now it looks like we won’t open up the economy until at least June 1st. Part of me says — “Darn Right! Get rid of this crap!” The infected person takes about a month to recover. Are they still infectious during this recovery time? An infected person can run around spreading contagion for 2-3 weeks before coming down sick. That’s a LOT of contact. That is why we have to assume everyone is infected, and protect ourselves. We have to assume WE are the infected ones, and protect others we come in contact with.

My time has been productive. I’ve been working on my genealogy blogs. Not like my cousin who has created family history books for her husband and for both of her sons. Keepsake type albums. Things I may never get around to ever in my lifetime. Instead, I take one person and I go deep. I inspect every document, every map, every social situation and historical event and try to explain how this may have affected that person. I can afford to go that deep, since I break up his life into decades. Sometimes, as in the Patsy Clark series, I had to break it into 1/2 decades because there was just so much information.

My time at home (although as an essential employee my quarantine time has not really changed much} has also been productive. I started using the Pomodoro technique (you can find it on youtube) to work on my computer projects for 20-25 minutes, then work on organizing for 5-10 minutes. It is amazing how much I have been able to organize in that short of time. Now, I am reorganizing my toilet paper and paper towel storage. I have shelves in closets which have very high headspace, but are hidden behind closet walls. Not very accessible, but perfect for storing lightweight items like — yep, toilet paper and paper towels. Those upstairs are for everyday access. Those downstairs will be the emergency stash. Because, as we all know now, bad times WILL happen. So we have to be prepared.

I have can rotation system which means if I do it right, it becomes a nifty first-in first-out system. It means I can hold a lot of cans in a smaller area, and I can access every single one. It also showed me that I really don’t have as many food stores as I thought I had.

I have always wanted to make meal kits, or meal in a jar kits. But I was always overwhelmed. I have a problem with logistics, with getting started. That’s how I am made. I force myself to take a step forward until I get something done. I overthink things. Well, Operation Spaghetti went well. I had left over Usborne gift bags. I put two jars Classico spaghetti sauce in (Classico because it is a regular Atlas mason jar! about a pint and a half in size.). I had a pint jar that holds 1/2 spaghetti noodles broken in half. This is perfect for two people. If I had freeze dried hamburger that would go into the kit, or FD sausage. Or a pint of canned hamburger. But I don’t, so I have about 2# frozen hamburger that I cook up. Add onions fresh or dried. French bread in the freezer for each kit. I have a month’s worth — well I used one last night. It worked out well. I focused on just ONE meal, not all of them. Something we eat every week.

Next meal kit is Chili. Then White Chicken Chili. Then Sloppy Joes. Each bag will have recipes instructions, and a “What to Get” list. I plan to store them downstairs, so everything has to be mouse proof.

I also want to make the meals in jars kit. Starting probably with a stew. FD beef, FD potato, FD peas, carrots, onions. Homemade Cream of something powder to shake down, with homemade Onion Soup mix or maybe not both. We shall see.

I’ve never been much of a budget maker, but now I have discovered the joys of … well, not exactly a budget, but rather a plan for our meals, extending them out for a month, then out for three months. It is called Food Insurance. Insurance that we will stay well fed during the bad times. Because believe you me, there will always be bad times. Perhaps it isn’t a SHTF scenario, but rather an extended illness; a change of jobs; being laid off; War time; or a world-wide pandemic like — oh, the Spanish Flu or the Chinese Communist Party Virus aka CoronaVirus.

BadBird had a broken tooth. He was able tomake an emergency dental visit to have a crown prepped, and will have it fitted next week. Our truck loan people typically charge 10$ to 20$ to pay over the phone, but the last two times, they’ve had their lobby closed, so they allow payments over the phone without that extra charge. What a way to work with your clients!

My organizing expanded from my office/photography room, into just about every cabinet of the kitchen, and into the hallway cabinet. Probably into my bedroom closet, too. The house is a mess. I’ve been storing water. I drink the flavoured water from Walmart or Safeway. They are one-liter bottles which I rinse out, then fill with tap water (which is well-water for us) and store them. Also, any 2liter bottles get the same treatment. This is a very easy way to store water, although I do have a 35 gallon blue barrel, and a 5 gallon water bottle filled from Safeway water. That method isn’t too expensive, you get a bottle and you can refill as much as needed. I foresee a time when water will become as much of a hot item as toilet paper has been.

Our stores are beginning to get some supplies. I was able to find some in the Dollar Store. They’ve put limits on them, but it is toilet paper.

Stay safe out there. Wear a mask when going out. Wash your hands when you get back home. My one dirty hand in the store technique seems to work best for me. Wash the bananas under soapy water before peeling them. Letting others sit for about a week before touching them. Tomorrow I prep for going back to work on Thursday. Making muffin in a mason jar kits. Egg muffins. Smoothie kits. I still need to process my mead, it is quite over due, but the organizning project is getting in the way. Or is that just my excuse?

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The Days the Earth Stood Still, 2020,04,16,0145

There are quite a few inconsistencies I notice.

1.  The virus is an animal virus, therefore we have no real immunity to this thing.  I’m talking about the Novel Coronavirus 19, aka Covid-19.  There are human varieties, including the one I was inadvertently exposed to, Coronavirus O43.  This is a common cause of respiratory illnesses.
2. There are so many tested, and — at least in my area — less than 10% are positive.  There are reports of, say, 4700 positive cases, and 277 deaths, and no reported recoveries.  In three months you tell me nobody has recovered?  Another number I want to see is 4700 positive out of how many tested all total?  If the 10% trend continues, this would mean that they had to have tested 47,000 cases to get those positive results.
3. The news media reports total numbers of positive infections.  This even a beginning statistician like myself can determine is skewing the news.  This nation is as large as the ENTIRE European area combined.  OF COURSE our total numbers are going to be larger.
   1. Let’s stick with the 10% trend.  If we have a thousand positive cases, then we would have tested ten-thousand patients.
   2. If Itally has a thousand positive cases, then they also would have tested ten-thousand patients.
   3. You have to look at how many positives per thousand people, not total numbers.  Silly people.
4. We are supposed to stay in isolation.  Because, you know, Quarantine.
   1. According to THE online dictionary (dictionary.com), the definition of Quarantine is as follows:
      1. a strict isolation to prevent the spread of disease
      2. a period, originally 40 days, of detention or isolation imposed upon … persons … when suspected of carrying some infectious or contagious disease
   2. Well.  I was going to really advocate for freedom of movement based on the second definition, but the first definition has so much leeway.  It says quarantine is used to prevent the spread of disease.  It doesn’t really specify that those in quarantine are suspected of having or carrying the disease.  Yes, I know the second definition does.  But I think this word can apply to isolation of those who are sick, those who are carrying and those who are healthy
5. Non-medical people are throwing money at this thing left and right.  It makes me suspicious.  They have a major agenda, it seems, of keeping the chattel subjugated.  That means, you and me, the grunts of the world.  Bill Gates has a foundation with a history of causing harm to third world country children in the name of a vaccine.
   1. Tom Hanks has thrown money somewhere.  Where did his money go?  He was quite public about his donations.
   2. If they do come up with a vaccine, how effective will it be?  There is still no vaccine for the H1N1 flu virus.  The Swine Flu also was questionable.  There is still no HIV vaccine.  What else are they going to include in this little injection?  Nanobots?  Trackers?
      1. You think I am kidding about trackers?  I just saw an article about how a company is quietly purchasing cell phone tracking something or other to track people without a warrant.  Don’t underestimate.

Okay, this whole thing is making me depressed.  Again.  Even the calming, soothing background music I use is ineffective for this kind of terror building up in my soul.  I am seriously afraid.  Look at Venezuela.  Look at Germany.  I fear we are doomed to repeat that part of history.

I have heard of someone I know saying he/she has no problem taking a gun and shooting someone to get the food they stored away to feed his/her family.  WHAT!?  I am heartbroken.  But better to hear about it now, than be surprised when they actually do come looking.

On THAT bombshell I leave you to contemplate.  Because (she says with a shrug of her shoulders), there isn’t really much else I can do.

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The Days the Earth Stood Still, 2020,04,13,0339

Easter was fun. I worked. Husband, BadBird, had a virtual easter egg hunt with the grandkids. The parents hid the eggs. Then she called him on face time, and the kids took turns taking Grampa around looking for eggs. He enjoyed it. Not as much fun as regular stuff, but this is as good as it gets.

We arent’ too crowded with patients. Then we become crowded with patients. We are allowed to wear cloth masks at work, just not in isolation rooms. Which is totally understandable. Not much happens to me when I have to work. My hair is getting a bit scraggly. May have to buzz cut it myself.

Hand soap is hard to come by. So I bought an 8-pack of Zest bath bar, thinking I can use it for hand, body, hair, and dish soap if I have to. It’s what was left.

I cut up a tshirt for my daughter to use instead of elastic for her masks she is making and selling. I brought my six masks to work, and sold four of them in one hour. She sells them for 5$ per mask. But the elastic supply is stretched thin [see what I did there], so narrow tshirt strips should suffice. When the strips are pulled taut, they make a soft round cordage. It was pretty quick to cut them up. Quicker than crocheting a chain.

I also sent her a link to making tied masks, like surgical masks without ear loops.

I’m also still working on a consignment sweater. Big jobs are not as portable for me, but she really wanted a mustard yellow sweater, so I am making it. It took three attempts to get the neckline right. Measured her to get the right set up. Hope it works right. The neckline and both sleeves are done, just working on the body of the sweater. Simple crew neck raglan top-down sweater in stockinette stitch.

Also still working on my other blogs. They are mostly genealogy blogs, with one clip art blog, one of interesting places in Washington State, and this one, which originated as a place for me to talk grandmother stuff. I think this series of posts qualify, since it is still a document of sorts about this current events that will become history.

Stay safe out there. Don’t bring this infection into your home if you can help it.

 

The Days the Earth Stood Still 2020,04,07

0300 … And the world still waits. Wondering what the hell is going on. What’s next. I think everyone is on pins and needles.

Everyone wears masks. People are being arrested for going for a ride. In their own car. With their own family. Meeting in a parking lot to talk but staying away from everyone else. WTH? How quickly we have become a nazi-type state. With curfews. Those arrested are held without bail. Yet convicted — CONVICTED — felons are released from jail and prisons so they don’t get this disease. What logic is this, pray tell?

There are mega-churches all over the country who are meeting for Sunday Worship. Because their faith says they will not get the illness if their faith is strong enough. WTH? So, when they come down with this, then I guess they didn’t believe hard enough? The first case of airborne contracted CoVid19 was from a church choir. They avoided touching and hugging. They avoided physical contact. They did everything right. Just the forced expulsion of air while singing forced the droplets into the air infecting almost everyone in that choir, with about three hospitalized and two dead, as far as I recall. I guess they didn’t have the faith of a mustard seed? Or else they didn’t use the brains God gave them?

I went to the store looking for hand soap — found two small pumps for about twice the price they should be. Almost everyone wore masks. When I had to pass another shopper, I tucked my masked face into the shelves to try to maintain the six feet distance. I wore a glove on my left hand, which became my “dirty” hand. I kept my “clean” hand either in my pocket or grasping the front of my shawl like you see surgery persons do. It took some thinking, but I think it worked out okay. Dirty hand for things other people had to touch — my products I was purchasing — the key pad of the card reader — the bag handles. Clean hand for my phone, my card. I had to pay the power bill, and had the account number on my phone. I showed the lady the number, and she reached for my phone. She REACHED for my phone! Before I knew it, I told her I didn’t want her to touch it.

Then I apologized that I wasn’t that rude under normal circumstances, but these are not normal circumstances, now are they? It protects her from me, as well. She doesn’t know that I don’t have the crap and spreading it all around.

The next day, today, I go into the store again. Today, people are so rude! Either that or I was short tempered myself. I got into a line, and it was closed off in front of me. The only other large-order line had two completely full baskets waiting. The second open line was a 15-limit line. I got to it, started putting my stuff on the conveyor belt, doing a good job not touching the dirty stuff except with my plastic baggied dirty hand. Then he said it. “You have more than 15 items. We might be okay, but you’ll have to explain it to the lady behind you.” I’m afraid I lost it.

I started grabbing my stuff off the belt, throwing them back into the cart. The baggie fell off my hand, and now both hands are dirty hands. Bare hands. I almost cried. The woman behind me didn’t move away. I had to ask her to excuse me, before she would make way for me. Now, the only open large order line was full with THREE full carts. I felt stuck in a dangerous situation, and my behaviour was making things worse. I regret getting so upset.

Finally, another line opened, and I finished the process touching the items with my bare hands, touching my debit card with my dirty bare hands, punching the numbers on the key pad with my bare fingers, and grabbing the dirty plastic bags with my bare hands. My dried out cracked to the point of bleeding bare hands. So, what did I do when I got out to the car? I grabbed a baby wipe, saturated it with Lysol spray, wiped down my hands, my card and my door handle. When I got home, I sprayed bleach cleaner on everything — bologna package; bread bags; spaghetti sauce jars.

Again, there is no excuse for my behaviour. I didn’t cuss out loud, I was very short and curt and my body language was not a happy one. How do I control this?

Tomorrow, we drop off care packages to the two sets of grandkids, perhaps get window kisses. I hope those kids remember this time of their lives. Stories around the campfire will include the Quarantine of 2020, when the entire earth was in lock down. It still makes me wonder what is going on out there while we are all in here?

I need to rack my current short meads, so I can prepare my Coronamel, my Covidomel, and my Quarantinomel. I don’t know what the recipes will be, probably spices. But those are the names of my next three brews.

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The Days the Earth Stood Still, 2020,04,06,2009

I will include a link to a previous blog post. You know how we can’t get to the ER now? Well, we can’t make it to the dentist, either. I have made a toothpaste that helps my tooth pain after about three days of using it. And it keeps it away.

Although I am a previous dental assistant, I can’t say for sure what is going on. I suspect the teeth are remineralizing. This will work if you don’t have gross cavities.

Here is my blog posted long ago. I have since made two batches, and I find myself sorely in need of another batch. Don’t make them too big.

Gramma Nettie’s Toothpaste 1

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The Days the Earth Stood Still, 2020,04,06,1629

Today started out like most others. I went to bed at a decent hour, but because I am a night chick, I woke about 0200. Not too bad, got about 4 hours of sleep. Did some more genealogy research, this time on my son-in-law’s family.

Husband has bronchitis. Yes, at one time I — we — thought it was Covid19, but then I considered his symptoms. I think he inhaled some food, I was there when it happened. His coughing started about three days afterwards. No fever. Typical bronchitis creeping crud that usually goes around this time of year. So treat the symptoms, drink water, take mucinex, nyquil, tylenol. Sleep sitting up in the recliner. Getting better, but bronchitis tends to take weeks to improve.

Then we went out to take a ride — alone — in our truck. Took the GoPro Hero3+ using my niftly little iSteady Pro2, but I still need to process the footage. Just experimenting on the back roads, while BadBird tries to get photos of ducks and other birds. The day before, I got footage using my SJCam as a dash cam. Worked out ok. Compressed the 40 minute stuff into 2.5 minutes of fast moving dizzying video.

Safeway is somewhat saddening. The flour is out. The yeast is out. There is brown sugar, and there is almond flour. Paper towels and toilet paper are out, still, for weeks, now. I try to pick up a package whenever I can, because you never know. I have some backup plans, as follows

1. Swiffer wipes work, you just can’t flush them
2. Paper Napkins also work, again you can’t flush them.
3. Cut up old Tee-shirts also work. You treat them like you do baby diapers.
   1. Get a cloth bag to hang in the bathroom, so the rags are ready to use at the drop of … a hat.
   2. Get another container, perhaps with a plastic sack, for the used cloths.
   3. Then you wash with a touch of bleach, just like you do for baby’s cloth diapers.

I miss my grandbabies so much. Three boys and three girls. A full rainbow of kids. And I haven’t hugged them nor kissed them in ages. I am known as the Pizza Gramma, because we always bring Pizza to bake for them. This helps momma out because regardless of what she says, having Gramma and Grampa visit puts a great strain on her day. Those kids are severely deprived of Pizza!

We made a date for window kisses in two days. We have stuff we bought for them before all this shtuff hit the fan. So we are going to drop the pony rocking horse, the Princess costume, the books (for the kids) and the mead (for the grownups). They will sit on the porch while we visit the babies through the window. It won’t be the same. I already going through what is known in nurses parlance as “anticipatory grieving.” I hate this.

My hands are so rough from all this washing the hands every time I turn around. I don’t have nearly enough hand lotion. I also found that I have a shortage of dish liquid and of hand soap. Perhaps it is time to make tallow soap again. I have the lye, I just need the fats. It might be time.

Inventory of some of the skills I already have

1. Spinning, dying, wool into yarn
2. knitting and crocheting said yarn into hats, gloves, sweaters, socks, scarves.
3. History of making soap in the past.
4. History of both water bath canning and pressure canning. I have supplies for both.
5. History of dehydrating, but that is a very short history, which I’ve just now picked up again.
6. Story-telling in the form of family history, videos, written word.
7. Do I have any other skills? IDK
8. I can fly one particular type of drone, but that’s not really a skill

I noticed something. These three blogs in this series have no images. I don’t think any images will help. So I choose to use only my words. Pictures are happy little things, and I am not a happy Pizza Gramma.

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The Days the Earth Stood Still 2020.04.05.1522

Went out for a ride in the sunshine.  Got coffee from Rozy’s.  Do we buy pizza from Westside Pizza?  Or have leftovers?

We have a dinner from last night, and another half package of hamburger cooked up, ready for another meal.  I also have some leftover chili.  We are having leftover chili.

I still plan for the future.  Still working on my genealogy blogs.  Took the SJCam out for a ride, trying to get it set up as a dash cam with motion sensing.  It looks like it will work.  I still plan to upload some of the childrens’ records I’ve recorded, or the Mother Goose rhymes I recorded years ago but never uploaded.

Heard today that Venezuela tried to ram a passenger cruise ship, but the military ramming vessel sunk.  What the hell!  The passenger line was in international waters.

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