I a.m. moved by this succinct post. I have probably fine the same thing as a nurse, but I called it listening, and respect. As a gramma, we can all remember this with the kids, too. A lot of behaviors are inflicted by adults around them. Whether we believe it or not, we ARE influential in those lives around us.
A decade or two ago, I attended a talk at McLean Hospital by psychiatrist George Vaillant. He discussed his paper, The Beginning of Wisdom is Never Calling a Patient a Borderline. I refer to it from time to time and teach from it. Here are three of the lessons it offers:
Some diagnoses often reflect treater frustration more than anything else. “Borderline” is often no more than an insult, code for “I don’t like this person” or “she’s a real pain in the butt.” How often have I heard staff members say: “they’re so borderline,” “they’re Axis 2,” or the like? It’s often an ugly slur in respectable camouflage, the exact opposite of scientific, objective, or diagnosis. They’re not only hurtful: they’re costly too.
I often work with people with trauma histories and Borderline Personality Disorder diagnoses. I usually get along with these folks just fine…
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